I used to be an epiphenomenalist. Before that I was regular just like you probably, unless you’re an evolutionary scientist.
Regular–what was that like? I can’t remember. I do remember what it was like being an epiphenomenalist. I believed mind couldn’t act on matter. Whatever was in my consciousness couldn’t affect my behavior; my behavior was driven by my brain chemistry, directly. Consciousness was like that screen you see on the back of a digital camera. It shows you the image the camera would take if you pressed the button but it can’t itself push that button. Put the camera on self-timer and it can take the picture, but the image on the back can’t. The camera on self-timer, that’s like our brain chemistry, it can do all the work itself. Consciousness is like that screen on the back–it can’t do anything except tell you what the camera is about to do.
Or, to put it everyday terms, your body puts out urine but that urine can’t jump back into your body and change anything. Same way, once your brain exports something into consciousness that something can’t jump back into the brain to make any difference in what you do. The connection goes only one way, from brain chemistry to consciousness.
And that’s what I believed. Until, one day, I realized it couldn’t be true.
Looking back now, my life divides into two: one period leading up to that moment, and all the time since. And I’ve become a very unusual person–I’ve become an ex-epiphenomenalist!
What that feels like is, as if I’ve grown up backwards. Most people I talk to these days, ardent Darwinists, started out regular, then they became epiphenomenalists. I’ve gone the other way. I used to be an epiphenomenalist, then I became sort-of regular like they were before, like their parents are. In conversation with them I think, “I used to be like you, but I grew out of it,” yet I know what they’re thinking is, “Poor fellow, you haven’t yet grown into it.” They’re proud of having achieved the wisdom of epiphenomenalism, and look down on other people like me, just like I used to look down on people who were “regular.”
What I’ve just said is the story of my life, almost. The other part is having always been a passionate believer in evolution. It’s the two together that put me in the position I’m in now–an evolutionist but not a physicalist, neither Darwinist nor Creationist.
But each assumes I must be the other. So here I am, ducking potshots coming from both sides, but actually saying something entirely different from both of them.
The Creationists are no bother. They just ignore me, I’m irrelevant to them. But to the Darwinists I’m anathema: I used to be one of them but I’ve gone wrong. I’m letting the side down. I’ve become disloyal. I’ve committed apostasy. I’m giving comfort to the enemy. How could I! “How can you be so stupid!”
Well, it’s worse than you think, fellas. I’ve not become just another creationist, I’m becoming something quite other. I’ve broken the code and I’m coming back to turn you guys out, with all your NeoDarwinian ideas, and put new ideas in their place. That career you’ve built around the arcanery of Darwinism, it’s over. You’ll know no more of what evolution’s really about than the freshest incoming student. In fact, you’ll know less, because you’ve so much to unlearn.
Starting from today, that’s my message. And I won’t express it in the language Darwinists use, because I’m superseding that language, and putting another one in its place.
Starting today.